


Never has to know

by NightMuse



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, angsty fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightMuse/pseuds/NightMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are better off kept as secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never has to know

The locker room was empty when Neil got there. It was such a rare sight that it was almost eerie. He'd half expected Kevin and Andrew to be there already as if Kevin had just forgotten to retrieve him or something. Matt, as usual, tried to get him to use the free time to sleep, but night practices had become such a part of Neil's routine he knew that if he didn't at least do some drills before running back to the dorms that he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. That didn't mean that being in the locker room alone was any less unnerving. The quiet, usually filled with Coach's cursing or upperclassmen chatter, was no longer what he was used to, and it hit him like one of Andrew's blows to the gut as he found himself wishing for some of them to show up and fill the lonely silence. However, it was midnight and that wasn't likely to happen so he changed into his light gear in silence.

The lights to the stadium buzzed as he flipped them on and allowed himself to take in the court. His court. No matter how many times he saw it, practiced on it, or played on it, it never felt real. Some days, Neil half expected to wake up and realize that his entire time at Palmetto had been some sort of a fever dream. The ache he felt every time he wanted to play Exy was just about the only indication he had that he was awake.

"You do this a lot, you know. Zoning out." Came a voice from behind him, and had he not realized who it was before he had a chance to react, Nicky's face would have been formally introduced to the net end of Neil's stick.

"It's not a good idea to sneak up on me like that." He tried to keep his voice cool, but there was an obvious tremor that he hoped Nicky wouldn't hear.

"I'd know that if you'd actually talk to me." Nicky took his place by Neil's side and rested his arms on the railing. He overlooked the court, but kept his head inclined towards Neil. Neil knew he was being watched, but couldn't tear his eyes off of the court.

"I talk to you."

"Not like you used to."

Neil had nothing to say to that. He'd avoided Nicky as much as possible since the night in Colombia when the Cousins teamed up and Nicky had played his part in their dangerous game and drugged him. Nicky sighed when Neil didn't answer.

"You have to understand. That was all Andrew would allow me." It took a few moments for Neil to understand what Nicky meant.

"Why do you obey him so blindly?" Neil asked, finally able to look at Nicky.

"Remember the day in the locker room, when there was a knife to my chest?" Nicky closed his eyes for a second and shook his head as if it could clear the memory. "That's why."

If there was anything Neil understood, it was that sort of fear, and yet, he still didn't know what to say. Neil's silence somehow spurred Nicky on.

"Not obeying Andrew isn't smart. So you have to understand why I played my part in Colombia the way I did..." He trailed off, and the fluorescent light from the rafters highlighted the flush of Nicky's cheeks. "Do you remember?" Neil nodded. Nicky had drugged him with not one, but two kisses full of cracker dust and then left him to be the entertainment of the evening. "I'm sorry. . . I played my part that night willingly for two reasons," he held up two fingers and ticked them off as he spoke. "One, it would have been suicide to refuse, and two, that is the closest Andrew will ever let me get to you. If I had my way, I would never leave you with that as the only memory of my kiss, but,"

The resignation in Nicky's voice almost physically hurt. If Andrew told Nicky to stop breathing, Neil bet Nicky would hold his breath until he passed out.

"You can't let him do this to you." Neil said quietly, but even as he said it he knew what it was like to watch every step and every breath in fear of stepping on some unseen landmine. He also knew, that nothing he said could change it once Nicky had been broken. However, the fact that Nicky was here, explaining, said that there was still a little fight left. Nicky smiled bitterly.

"I can't disobey."

"Not even if he'd never find out?"

Nicky's eyes widened and he studied Neil's face with an intensity Neil had never seen before, like the idea of keeping secrets had never crossed his mind.

"Neil, I-"

"I'm still upset about Colombia, but I'm more pissed off at Andrew for that than I am at you. Promise me you'll never drug me again, Nicky, even if he asks you to."

Nicky paused before answering and met Neil's gaze.

"Promise you'll act drugged if he does."

"Deal."

Nicky smiled at how readily Neil agreed.

"Deal, then."

Neil gave Nicky a soft, yet rebellious smile and it sent Nicky's heart pounding.

"Now you have _my_  permission to kiss me."

What had gotten into Neil, neither of them were sure, it was like the interview all over again, but Nicky closed the space between them in a matter of seconds, and that bitter, forceful kiss Neil remembered was washed away by something sweeter and far gentler. Nicky's mouth was warm  and inviting when Neil reciprocated the kiss and Neil was amused by the small noise of surprise Nicky gave when he grabbed Nicky's jacket to pull him closer before breaking away.

Both panted softly, soft noises made so loud by the otherwise quiet of the court. Kissing Nicky had felt better than Neil had felt in a long time, and he wasn't really sure what to do with that knowledge.

"There," Neil said. "And Andrew doesn't have to know."


End file.
